the mustard seed left to light
the darkest reach
an unseen light
i bequeath
to this that is, is.
and let your
the smallest of seed
be a mountain of
hope
for another.
as saying myself
i left my faith inside
the darkest furthermost
reach of a singular small
starlight of sight
for perhaps
a new possible
earthlike place.
on schizophrenia being time perceptions of the mind.
maybe more complete awareness of the present moment from synchronicities of like a 'matrix' experience as best can describe.
just microseconds? or longer, do not know. but it is an acute experience of time and timing ...just if it wern't all taken as 'personal' and harassment type again personally. it is like a heightened consciousness in/of experience. why are some reactionary in the thought of 'pursicatory delusions' or even feel its such and not others? do not know if the experience is always similar.
but do know synchronicities of experience abound in the realm of schizophrenia in my personal experience anyway. and if you don't see it as a forced 'on purpose' directive from somebody else the experience is pretty awesome. but it has to be naturally timed for on some occasions and some establishments do force it and 'use' it to harass the individual, which is extremely WRONG! the experience, if left alone can be beautiful beyond any 'natural(?)' perception and establish an 'enlightening' of scenic beauty in anyones own backyard. the perfection of the leaf and blade of grass in beautiful harmony. but you must know this. its not a sustainable moment unless you never take another step and stand there in awe forever more. and then they want you to be medicated. then the beauty of asynchronous sights and sound vanish into a depression 'side effects'. i swear there is an established schizo harassment establishment even in the fucking media ...forced harassments on these individuals that fuck them up simply from being different. and the different can be beautiful!
if you don't show care or concern - why would it be for me to give a fucking rats ass about anything either.
creativity and care both grow from themselves, one to another even for self.
to those who want instant 'everything' especially what they may consider success. are you just a back stabber, a wanna'be something else. there is an easy 10,000 or more out there dying to have a job like yours. you must show a success a completeness a satisfaction of where you are already first and before ever continuing forward! and with consistencies over TIME! so you better think about that before you disregard your position and ask your boss"whats MY future in this company?
show, have care for others genuine concern, not PITY which is a disgusting form of so called 'LOVE' a disabling not an ENABLING!!!!!
can't keep silent
the unknown is present
savanna way
did i actually 'sandman'
is there crime involved
is there something like 'lsd involved
hell if i can be sure
insanities made by the comptcontroller
to make me drink gasoline
that flushed my body clean
there is a quagmire knot
inside the gut
he blackout of remembering
my arm slipping
through the back door
then what my neighbor said
ken cook
no memory at all of that
or the resulting trippy
sandman result of unknown druggings
how do or do you have clothes?
fuck if i know. but all i know
i the reforming of body
from the beams of light
is a wonderful experience.
what happened, how i got home
i have no clue.
not enough daylight, cold and wet, the burdens of 'holidays'. where is comfort in so much unknown's. the season sudden change from light to dark - warm to cold and the next three days of fucking rains. nothing accomplished for a heart to relish just stress of it all. the mind/body feels it, consumption skyrockets. yesterday, feeling like a pig headed to slaughter and the resulting thoughts of suicide. for real, felt like an animal depressed from the next hour's slaughter. the feelings were terrible, extremely too real.
this, typing out of what is in mind is my only relief. moods change from hour to hour, minute to minute, and day to day. my only constant companion, smoking. even the world doesn't understand itself any longer. mother nature seems at war with father time, and if you think of the today's technologies' you might understand. my self personal burdens just a friggin' nuisance in my thoughts that do not subside. the larger us, the usa, so divided. the conscious has it's confusion (and fears) that we all feel or just ignore and continue to party, disregarding the future(?). they have no thought, no real concern because for the feelings of a downer. all immaturities, selfishly living for the next fucking phone to buy. what is the state of the american family. young children burdened with a society of division not even knowing if they are sexually oriented different from their natural given body just another division mindset from the global conflicted consciousness.
life is just what you make it -so my life is depressed concerns...
and the war is lost before it begins. the men the will itself, where is it lost to? fantasy land. we must regain, obtain and sustain strength of mind. say this ask this ...do i trust my own mind? maybe you shouldn't. these thoughts. are they who i want to be. is it moral is it ethical. where is integrity of me, who i am? a man of integrity wears the same face for everyone in his life!
do not know.
but do know
the possibilities
it could be a continuation of WW2 by the aliens who were friends to FUCKING HITLER.
it could be the Illuminati - Bildeburg's
but it is the fault/guilt of the cause
not the effects in and of my/this life.
in any case
what do you wish
the future of humanity to be
the alien has given mankind
nothing but 'trojan horses'
in technologies
for their benefit, not ours.
rebuke for ignorance. so i may have to suffer. as it is it shall be.
how does the forest hide from the trees.
how do the trees hide from a reamer.
how can man hide from knowledges
is there but one book in your library.
is there but only one story
turn around. listen to a tree
if not another. hear the breeze
see the last golden leaf that has to fall
for the return. enrich yourselves.
avoid technologies. ignore me please.
and go about your life, lawyer and judge.
the truth will destroy. let my punishments
remain silently just for my families peace.
i will do my damnest of best
so they remain, silently.
have collected for them, not me
a little, just some survivabilities.
it has already been a lifelong...
there will be another times three.
at least.
could i not have spared
at least one from their miseries.
how the sever of reality begins
in a daydreaming mind
see a dress thats shapeless
on a woman of mid age
and shapely make it attractive
with a cloth belt
with a colorful vest
make it flatter her
see her feeling beautiful
just a twenty dollar dress
to make her glorious.
and then notice are you lost
inside your daydream and
even loose sight of your surroundings
just briefly, briefly you are visionless of present sight
so much more inside than you are now.
revenge is but the growth of more hate inside
your midriff nerve brain, the center flex of feeling.
do we call forgiveness the punishments of others?
or do we self punish in revenge.
find the answer within yourselves and
tame your animals inside
the quiet, gentle night breeze
soar within the spirit
take me higher, higher
than the trees
gift me a completeness
within your loft
gently, gently let me see
the earthly
return this man
more complete
that he feels
head to feet
does the mountain
feel the lacking
the need of itself as well?
it seems so, itself
lost.
the stone top trails or not
is struggling for energy within
strength for the embedded forest
needs to feel the spirits
riding the currents of night
as well as me. in completing,
incomplete.
the mushy room had its internal thought
as a man walked by
look down please don't step on me
i am soft and squishy
stand beside on the secrets of histories
hidden in the rock.
i am a gift of history too
for you to peer into
the ancient stone while stoned
consume me gently
and the stone will talk
of seen ancient travelers
upon its path of times
long forgotten.
but you had better know
my different cousin joe
for he will rot your internal body!
life from in, life from out. a life to wish no other has or had. no not malicious, just preconceived by an unknown. reasons not known, even after sixty-five years of it. regrets of many types. the future, the near future all truly unknown. afraid to live. afraid to start over with dying and new life. the controller has given many different scenarios of possibilities from dream visions of new life, all worthless. i do not want to live again, at all. Buddha has no answer in my life. Jesus has not gifted me faith or belief either. life is punishments for only the unknown. the good human life is quickly ended. almost like it is a mistake. how terrible for an individual who knows an others thought. watch this below vid only if you are solid in your shoes for it will tumble you into a deep funk.
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